When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
