Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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