dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
