I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
