I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
