I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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