i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
