don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Randomize
