and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
