I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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