Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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