Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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