Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
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I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
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And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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