i barfeds in our rink
Say something about gay babies.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
