love makes seman taste better
im holly from the hills drunk
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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