Screwed.edu
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
