I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
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The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
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I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
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