my phone needs a breathalizer
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?