I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.