I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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