Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
