I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
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I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
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I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My vagina just clenched in fear
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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