i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
