i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
