If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
