Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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