Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
