i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Drake has all the answers
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
