there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
