WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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