oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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