he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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