Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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