At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
