in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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