i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
