Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
