i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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