We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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