whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
