i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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