Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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