I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
