You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
