my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you will always have a special place in my vag
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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