i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
