I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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