So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My penis needs a shock collar
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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