whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
