i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
