Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
