HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sext me about skeletons
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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