i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize