i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
where does the pee come out of this thing
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
