I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize