i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
