Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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