ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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