Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
