Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize