Is it normal to miss your booty call?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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