I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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