whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
