You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
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New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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