i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
